Tomorrow Never Knows 2015

Chicago is a city where music festivals run rampant. The tentpoles of our Summer run from Do Division to Third Rail to The Chicago Blues Festival to Spring Awakening to Riverwest to Pitchfork to Lollapalooza to North Coast to Riot Fest to the Hideout Block Party. But arguably the most compelling, and wistfully overlooked, is the festival that runs it’s way through the middle of the Winter, and a smattering of Chicago venues.

We’re talking about Tomorrow Never Knows. Unlike all the aforementioned festivals, which comfortably coast through Chicago’s warmest months, when we’re already so beaked out on sun, BBQ, and Oberon, that standing in line to be entertained comes off as a chore, Tomorrow Never Knows positions itself on the calendar at the exact moment we’re in our most dire need of spirit lifting: January 14th to 18th.

And what makes Tomorrow Never Knows 2015 all the more spiritually uplifting is the seamless insertion of choice comedic acts amid expected musical heavy hitters. What comedic acts and musical heavy hitters you ask? Here’s a few worth noting:

Cameron Esposito – Thursday, January 15th
Who in the World is Cameron Esposito? That question is precisely what this long-running A.V. Club column written by Cameron Esposito has attempted to answer. We’ve read every article and what we’ve concluded is that we don’t really know. Or, it’s complicated. One thing we do know about Cameron Esposito that we really like, is that, like all great human beings before her (Steve Jobs, Fidel Castro, Doug), she wears the same thing every day.

Protomartyr – Thursday, January 15th
If you’re anything like us, you let internet Best Of lists entirely dictate your taste in music, in which case you had no choice but to be thoroughly dominated by Protomartyr’s second album, Under the Color of Official Right. They sound like if your batty uncle got drunk and did karaoke versions of your favorite Joy Division songs without knowing any of the words. For example:

Cloud Nothings – Friday, January 16th
Like 5-years ago, someone tried to get us into Cloud Nothings by playing one of Dylan Baldi’s self-recorded bedroom emo records and we did not feel it. It was too yelpy and all LoFi-y. But then Attack on Memory was released and it was the raddest, yet hard to digest, thing to come out of Cleveland, OH since Melt Bar & Grill. And when they put out Here and Nowhere Else last year, we floated off the ground into outer space and haven’t been seen since.

Joe Mande – Friday, January 16th
We hated his book, Look at This Fucking Hipster (it’s mostly just goofy looking people under 35). But we were won over by his Tweets. Here are some of our favorites:

“Make it look like I live in a Cheesecake Factory.” – NBA players to their interior designers.

Not all cops are bad, but I guarantee the worst dude in your high school graduating class is now a cop.

I’m almost positive that gluten didn’t exist four years ago.

peyton manning has never made himself a chicken parmigiana sandwich @Nationwide

This too:

Zola Jesus – Friday, January 16th
If you can’t find a reason to be in love with Nika Roza Danilova, you don’t deserve love. For one, she’s an alluring minx of a woman. Second, she’s from Wisconsin, the least contentious state in the union. Third, no matter where your musical tastes lie on the Spectrum of Musical Tastes, Zola’s got something for you. Be it her refined Mivos Quartet numbers, her trashy synthed-out LoFi LA Vampires stuff, her dancey club-ready remixes, her epic heartbreak ballads, or her Canadian hardcore oeuvre punk barn burners:

Tim Heidecker – Saturday, January 17th
Most people don’t even know that there was a movie that came out two years ago starring Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim, Neil Hamburger and James Murphy called The Comedy. It happened! If you’re one of the many people that this is news to, here’s what you missed:

Twin Peaks – Sunday, January 18th
Seeing as how they’re from Chicago, we had no choice but to like Twin Peaks from the start. In fact, we’ve never even heard their music. We just read their bio and saw this photo. But they’re from Chicago, and they seem pretty cool, so no doubt their music is nothing less than top notch. If you’ve actually heard them and think otherwise, you’re barking up the wrong tree, friend, because as we’ve expressed, we’re 100% certain they are an excellent, and soon to be legendary, rock music group.

We’ll see you there, particularly if by “there,” we mean the Hideout.