For those of you totally unfamiliar with Chicago’s forecast today, it’s freezing and snowing.  We’re not going to lie, the weather here’s been better.  But if there’s one advantage to  sub-zero temperatures and airborne ice pellets striking us in the face, it’s that it makes an ideal setting for dark, crude oil-like brews.  That’s why the timing of SmallBar’s annual Stout Blowout couldn’t be better.  At 6pm tomorrow, they will unleash upon the thirsty Wicker Park population a curated beer collection so gruelingly nocturnal and devoid of light, there’s no question our pallets will never again be the same.

Here’s a brief rundown of what to expect:

• Against The Grain 35K | Coffee Sweet Stout
• Ballast Point Sextant | Oatmeal Stout
• Emillisse Espresso Stout | Coffee Stout
• Evil Twin Ashtray Heart | Smoked Stout
• Evil Twin Imperial Biscotti Break Natale | Imperial Stout
• Dark Horse Too Stout | Cream Stout
• Firestone Walker Velvet Merkin | Bourbon Brl Aged Oatmeal Stout
• Founders Imperial Stout | Imperial Stout
• Goose Island Baudoinia | Barrel-aged Imp Stout
• Goose Island Bourbon County | Barrel-aged Imp Stout
• Great Divide Chocolate Oak Yeti | Imperial Stout
• GreenBush & SmallBar Mr. Hyde | Sumatran Sweet Stout
• Half Acre Baume | Rye Stout
• Lake Effect & ManBQue Unholy | Mole Stout
• Left Hand Wake up Dead | Imperial Stout
• New Belgium S’more *NITRO* | Porter
• Perennial Abraxas | Imp Stout
• Solemn Oath ChocoTsuris | Chocolate Stout
• Three Floyds Moloko | Milk Stout
• Two Brothers North Wind 2012 | Imperial Stout

The inclusion of the Goose Island Bourbon County and Moloko should be enough to make you stop whatever you’re doing now and queue up outside the doors at 2049 W. Division St. right now.